Still catching up on the month of July!

OUR ANGEL BABY WHO NEVER MADE IT TO EARTH....

Well we found out on July 5th that we had a little surprise growing in my tummy, yup another baby! But unfortunately it just wasn't right, i miscarried when i was about 7 weeks along. When we first found out about baby #2 we were a little surprised, it wasn't exactly in our plans to have them that close together. But non the less we were very very excited! I would have been due, March 13...just 3 days after my birthday. Bristol and the baby would have only been 15 months apart!! We don't waste time around here haha! We were excitedfor our new little addition. But we know that it just wasn't the right time. Miscarriages are definitely a lot harder on the woman. From the second you know there is a baby being created and formed inside of your tummy you immediately are filled with something that is indescribable. There is so much excitement, love and joy. No longer than a minute passes by that you don't think about your unborn child. Anticipating hearing your babies first cry and the thought of what he will look like. I knew i'd be getting sick any day because I had finally hit that seventh week but instead of getting nauseous I had a little something else, spotting! It started Wednesday afternoon. I tried not to think much about it...I know lots of woman who spot through their whole pregnancies. But i began cramping shortly after. The cramping continued and got worse as the hours passed. I went to bed with a heating-pad over my tummy hoping the cramps would disappear. The next morning I woke up and found more than just "spotting". I walked around the house cleaning, little did I know that within the next hour I would be in severe pain with cramping very similar to contractions and unexplainable amounts of blood pouring from my body. I remember the pain and sadness I felt in my heart, knowing that I was passing my little baby. Now it's hard for those of you who have never conceived or for that matter, miscarried

before to understand the full effect this has on your body and especially emotionally. This was my first miscarriage. Before that point I had never fully understood how hard it is on a woman to go through this process. Yes, my baby was ONLY as tiny as a poppy-seed. But let me tell you, that doesn't change anything! It's still extremely hard. You want nothing but to still be pregnant with your baby growing inside of you. My heart goes out to those who have ever miscarried and or lost a child, especially those who have been much farther along than I was. For those that have given birth to a still-born or lost a sweet child at any age. I can't fathom the pain of losing Bristol now that I have held her, kissed her, played with her, taken care of her and rocked her. My life would never be the same if she left me. She's my sweet little girl. I can't imagine life without her. I am grateful that mine and Abe's life has been greatly blessed with our precious Daughter of God. She brings so much joy into our home! We know that this miscarriage has been a learning experience for us. We know we will have more children someday and look forward to that special moment when we will hear our future babies first cries.

Dear Angel Baby,

I never got to hear your first cry.

I never saw your beautiful eyes.

I never touched your soft skin.

I never saw your cute little grin.

I never saw your feet kick.

I never got to hold you and rock you when you were sick.

But you are my unborn Angel...

And you will forever be missed.

Until we meet again Love,

Mommy